breakingmyheart | 2.12 - Voice + Spam

2.12 - Voice + Spam

[Private to Erik]

I've been in a coma for about four days.

I…I'm aware it could have been much longer, given how long it's been since we last talked.

I hope you're alright.

[The sentiment of someone who doesn't necessarily expect a response.]

[Open Spam]

[The walk from the door of her cabin to the door of the engine room is very short, but lately she's started to feel terribly agoraphobic on the walk between those rooms, as if the world might suddenly open up completely and leave her stranded in a huge, inescapable void.

If that's unpleasant then the walk up to the library is a nightmare, but her insomnia isn't going away and God knows she needs something to fill the hours. Still, she walks the programming and linguistics sections in a bit of a daze, eyeing the shelves and reading spines without taking much in.]

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[ Most awkward hallway encounter ever in the history of hallway encounters. Even being jumped by Rorschach and his pal Bruce was better than running into Toshiko coming up for air. ]

[ There's a moment of pause. Staring. And then a ducked, enormous head, glance cutting to the side, hands shoved in his pockets as he tries to compact his already small frame and veer to the side. ]

[ Nothing to say, just-- moving along. ]

[Toshiko comes to a sudden, jerky halt after he's walked past her and half-turns to watch him go, and even the uncomfortable feeling of exposure doesn't hurry her on.]

Megamind -

[But really, what could she even say? All she can do is turn back again.]

[ His steps stuttered at his name, but he hunches deeper, even as he comes to a stop. He doesn't know what to say, or do, or-- even feel. ]

[ But by the time he's turned-- she's already turning back. ]

[ Muttering;] Must not be very important... [ he returns to his path, door nearly in reach. ]

[ He wants to hide and not come out until it stops hurting. ]

[She barely raises her voice enough to carry the distance.]

Do - do you think I have any idea what to say?

Nope. [ He's got his hand on his door, but he pauses. ] Doesn't matter, though. You've made it clear how little what I think or feel matters in the grand scheme of your life: zip.

After all, I'm just an inmate -- my redemption is most important, right?

[ His lips curl, teeth flashing in a sneer he directs mostly at himself. ]

Bad guys don't get the girl.

[ He turned the knob, and pushed through, not particularly caring ton hear her denial. ]

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[Good Lord Tosh do you not have anyone checking on you?]

I'm fine. [Quietly flabbergasted, but.]

...I didn't realize you kept to yourself quite so much.

[lol nope, this is what comes of deliberately alienating yourself from your already fragile support network.]

I'm a private person. My friends know that.

[Sounds kind of weak even to her, but never mind.]

[gj, Tosh, gj.]

Private enough that a four day absence wasn't noted. [He's private to, but he still does that whole interacting thing.]

Private enough that sometimes I don't talk to anyone for a few days at a time and it's not considered unusual.

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[The programming section is the part of the library Narvin lurks in most often, and at odd hours, since he needs very little sleep and Kay keeps to a 37 hour Centauran schedule.]

Miss Sato. Looking for anything in particular?

[He notes that she looks worn around the edges, distant and almost ill, but doesn't consider it his business to comment that perhaps she'd be better served by the infirmary than the library.]

Just browsing.

[Her voice, too, sounds a little not-all-there until it registers with her that she should be firing on a few more cylinders than she is.]

I've run into a few problems on a VR environment I'm building. Some issues with object interaction. I'm hoping a fresh perspective might knock something loose. [She nods at the bookshelf.]

Are you programming an energy-to-matter conversion to create temporary tangible objects, or a mental-stimulus system to trick the brain into fully perceiving objects that aren't truly there?

The latter. I already have a fully functioning photonic force field program to render holograms in the real world.

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[Charles often wanders the library when he's not wandering the CES or holed up in either his or Erik's room reading and working on revising his thesis, and so it's not exactly unheard of, to run across him in here.

It has become more unusual to see Tosh, though, and as soon as he notices her, he blocks her entirely, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. She looks a little worn out, but that's more or less par for the course around here, really. He probably doesn't look great himself..] Hello.

[She finds her telepathy-related concerns have faded to almost nothing since the last time she spoke to Charles. Not because she tried to account for herself and clear the air a little, but because she just doesn't care any more. Even if he was malign enough to rummage around in her head and pluck out all her secrets, so what? What earthly use would he (anyone) have for them, for her?

It's strangely liberating to have so little concern for herself, and when she smiles it's genuine for all the wrong reasons.]

Charles, good afternoon. How are you?

[And Charles can't suspect a thing so long as he's blocking himself off like this, so he just smiles back.]

I'm alright. Getting over a cold, but otherwise I can't complain. How about you?

Fine, fine. Just looking for something to test some new translation algorithms on. The library seems quite intuitive about whether you want your books in English or not. [She reaches out, pulling a volume off a shelf entirely because she doesn't recognise the script on the spine.]

I'm amazed anyone's even able to get colds here. Then again, God knows what the microbial makeup of the CES is like.

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[Conveniently, the library is also one of Rinzler's favorite places to be in the bitter hours of the early morning.

And, equally conveniently, he's been looking for Toshiko.

The instant he notices her presence the program creeps over to shadow her.]

...Toshiko.

[She pauses in her rather aimless browsing and turns to him, managing a small smile.]

Rinzler, hi. How are you?

[He stands there in silence--except for that quiet growl--for several seconds, just looking at her.

Studying. Analyzing. (And, perhaps, trying to find the words to say. ~~Creator, she's his User, where did he even find the gall to confront her about something?~~]

I--function.

You are not--well. You did not say--this.

[The smile trembles and dies, and she looks very steadily at the bookshelf in front of her.]

Because I'm managing fine, and it's nobody's business. Who's been talking to you?

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[After this, Jesse feels like he has to say something.]

Hey yo, listen, Toshiko, um... your ex told me what was up. I just wanna say, if you ever wanna talk to someone... you know. Door's open and everything.

Thank you.

[That seems like all that needs to be said. He moves to hang up, but then hesitates, thinking back on the conversations with Megamind, with Kay... and maybe there is something else she could stand to hear.]

I'm not gonna tell you you've gotta quit, or just do this, or that, or whatever. That's just stupid. I don't even know dick about morphine, like, God knows why it even got brought up with me, so there's that.

And also I get it, why you did what you did -- why you cut him off.

So yeah, if you ever just want to... whatever. You can. That's all. [And now he will hang up, if she has nothing else to say.]

...thank you, Jesse.

[But it's a different kind of 'thank you', not perfunctory but 'thank you for understanding'.]

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[HAD TO HAPPEN THEY'RE ON THE SAME FLOOR]

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[Voice, private, the next day]

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