breakingmyheart | 2.22

Yes, of course.

[ He had been worried about her, but-- Eddie was proving a handful and with great needs of his own. Not that the boy couldn't be trusted alone, but... Bright boy, lots of tools, accidents waiting to happen. He'd already gotten bitten by a brainbot. ]

[...]

What do I do when I grow up?

You work with a group of like-minded people who help keep your world safe from strangeness beyond your own. You are a genius with electronics, linguistics, and a little bit of everything else between.

Regrettably, your work will cost you your life, in time. And you come to the barge, to continue it. You have graduated two inmates and gained Deals that I know you have used to better other people's lives. [ He's not sure of the direct applications, but he's never asked. ] And then, like many people who dedicate their lives to others, you -- give a little too much, and you.... well, you keep trying to give.

Now, you're on the barge as an inmate instead of a warden, and trying to learn to be the right amount of good, versus the right amount of bad.

That's not what I meant.

[But she blames herself for asking too general a question.]

Why am I an inmate?

What will I do?

You make a mistake. You take on too much, and you make a mistake, and you don't ask for help. So that mistake gets bigger and bigger and worse and worse, and...

Eventually, people get hurt. You are not aware or in control, but once you know it's happening, you let it go for days.

I...

I figure it out, and I help you. Nobody is particularly grateful for it, except a small few, everyone is emotional and angry, and then... the next big thing happens and the hurts begin to mend or are forgotten and people start to move on.

And that, I think, is almost as bad as still hanging on to the hate. Nobody-- resolves anything here. They just bury it in the wake of the next bit of madness.

Oh.

[And then she's very quiet for a long time. It's more thsn Erik would tell her but it's still very vague.]

I'm not going home when this is over, am I?

It's a flood. I'll just be her again.

[From her tone it's hard to tell if she's dealing with the resulting existential crisis very well or not at all.]

No. This-- happened to me, once. Almost a year ago. I became much younger, and I didn't understand. I was a little less than six. A lot of secrets came out. Very awkward.

[ He pauses ]

The barge never does anything, I think, without reason, Toshiko. Each action, each place, is meant to push us toward something to better ourselves. So there's-- something that must be done, or you can learn, from this. Some moment of understanding or forgiveness.

At least-- that's what I sincerely believe. I could be wrong. I just-- don't think I am.

[ He was always so delightfully naive, for a costumed supervillain. ]

[Toshiko does kind of know what he means. A few hours ago she wouldn't have done, but now?

Now she just doesn't know if the person benefiting from that moment was her or Erik.]

I hope you're not.

...I'm sorry she wrote on your head. It's not empty.

Well, no. It's not empty.

But I can still-- I have my moments, okay. I can totally own that. [ To the right people, in private, so his pride is spared. ]

I don't mind, though. The writing, I mean. [ He rubs his forehead. Still there, hasn't yet completely come off. ] It means she'd miss me if I were gone. And she was hoping I'd wake up and see, and not vanish.

I know she-- still cares.

...I know.

[...]

She wrote about it in her diary.

[...]

Her password's rubbish.

[Little Tosh does not care for Big Tosh's life choices, privacy or network security.]

Edited 2013-08-11 22:14 (UTC)

Well, it's-- that's-- good to know. And you can cut her some slack on the password. The laptop's brand new and she probably hasn't time to set anything shiny up on it yet....

[ and then he realizes the timeframe in which she's found it, and... ohgodplease, tosh, please, don't have written anything about sex with him and edward during breach. please. oh god. ]

[ he's just going to lapse into silence and worry now. ]

[Don't be silly, Megamind.

She's a scientist, of course she made notes.]

Probably.

[She lapses into quiet again, her brief levity fading.]

I...I know what's going to happen to me when this is finished.

Does that mean it's stupid to say I'll miss you?

[ Yeah, that's what he figures. ]

[ Oh God he's going to be mortified for a while after this. For now, though, he just rubs his face, grinning lopsidedly. ]

No. I-- miss her a lot of the time and she's down the hall. It's not silly.

Edited 2013-08-12 00:06 (UTC)

If she's down the hall and you miss her you could just talk to her.

[There is a thick vein of 'boys are dumb' running through this statement.]

Well, there's the whole... I'm seeing someone else, there are complications, and... things like that sort of.... stuff.

[ He laughs, realizing how dumb that sounds. ]

You know what? Don't grow up. Just be-- whatever age you are forever, if you can be, and enjoy it. Because I've yet to find a real convincing reason to do so yet.

We overcomplicate everything for silly reasons.

....Okay.

[Since they both know that 'forever' for her will be the next day or so, this isn't too unreasonable a request.]

...you want to come hang out with us and have cupcakes?

[ He figures she'll know who the 'us' is. ]

I made a pillow fort.

[She makes a face. She's twelve; pillow forts are not an inducement.

Cupcakes are, though. And company.]

Alright. I'll come.

Oh good. We're just down the hall. I'll make sure the door's unlocked.

2.22 - Voice

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