2.21 - Voice + Spam

[breakingmyheart]

[Library & Kitchen Filters]

I've been unpaired from Jesse. I still plan on keeping both my jobs. If that's alright.

[Even though she kind of hates both of them, it's marginally better than having nothing to do all day.]

[Private to Megamind]

...I can help. With the project you were talking about.

[Open Spam - Deck]

[So it's been a fortnight. The breach was - well - things happened. She's been through her most grotesquely violent death toll to date. And then she got off the Barge in LA and stole from a cashpoint for the express purpose of buying drugs, which - didn't happen, in the end.

Small mercies. She might not have been feeling any worse for having succeeded but deep down she knows the better would be very, very fleeting.

And then the Admiral separated her from Jesse. Or Jesse asked to be unpaired. She doesn't know. He said he didn't, she'd like to believe him, but she wouldn't really blame him for spotting a lost cause either. Megamind called her a model Inmate not so long ago but it doesn't feel like she was modelling anything except peaceful noncompliance.

She doesn't often break the library -> kitchen -> (gym) -> shower -> sleep cycle but she needs some time and fresh air to decompress and so after the dinner shift she's out on deck, sitting on a bench and somewhat reading a book but not really paying attention to it.]

Comments

[breakingmyheart]

That transparent, am I?

[She summons up a defeated little smile.]

I don't know. I think it's less about being flexible and more about being able to roll with the punches. It's not what I'd call a sympathetic work environment.

[youwill]

[He lets his smile fade, watching her instead.]

Are you an inmate, Ms. Sato? [He's certain she is.]

[breakingmyheart]

Yes. [And she doesn't ask the same of him because she doesn't really care.] Toshiko, please.

[youwill]

[Which he notes, and files away: does she not care out of selfish disinterest, or the certainty off her surroundings? He'll find out soon enough.]

Toshiko. If it isn't too presumptuous, perhaps you will allow me to ask why you are here.

[breakingmyheart]

It isn't. [It is a little, but she's not really all that precious about what is basically public knowledge.] I was demoted four months ago, for taking control of the ship.

[youwill]

[He's read that far back; it's when things got particularly interesting.]

How did you manage that?

[breakingmyheart]

[She debates this for a moment longer. Did Jesse tell people about this? Probably. Still public knowledge, then.]

...The Barge is a living thing in its own right. I'm fairly sure it's intelligent, but it relies on having a controlling consciousness. Normally that's the Admiral but for a while it was - me.

It was an accident. I was digging around too deep in the engine room and it just happened.

[youwill]

[New information though it is, he very much doubts that. It doesn't show on his face, of course, just a quiet, almost concerned curiosity.]

And what did you do, once it happened?

[breakingmyheart]

[She looks away from him, staring a little blankly into middle distance.]

Turned the Barge into a hellhole without realising it. And once I did realise it was me, I...it took me far too long to fix it. To do anything.

[youwill]

[He keeps his eyes on her, head cocked just slightly.]

And you were demoted, because you chose not to act with immediacy.

[breakingmyheart]

[Toshiko shrugs.]

Because I wasn't fast enough, because I did it in the first place, because I tortured complete strangers. Take your pick.

[She gives him a sidelong look.]

Most people aren't going to be this forthcoming, by the by.

[youwill]

It's been my experience that people simply desire someone to listen. I do not imagine you've had ample opportunity to be heard.

[breakingmyheart]

It's more that nobody needs to hear it. It's - very unusual that someone's reason to be an Inmate actually happens here on the ship.

[Or comes to a head here, at least. She's not so unaware of herself as not to realise the seeds were planted long before the Barge, maybe even before Torchwood.]

Most people play their cards closer to their chest, I just...don't have any reason to. That's all.

[youwill]

One must wonder why. You've told me nothing that others could not tell me - others who were here four months ago.

[He pauses, turning forward again to stare at the stars ahead of him.]

You may underestimate what others need to hear. Or what you need to say.

[breakingmyheart]

Maybe.

[She watches him watch the stars for a moment.]

Are you a -- counsellor? Psychiatrist?

[youwill]

[He nods once, faces her again.] I have a practice, yes.

[A beat]

Had, I suppose.

[breakingmyheart]

Oh. You're...?

[Dead, an Inmate, a recent victim of foreclosure, possessed of the wit to close up shop before leaving to go to the Barge? There's really too many ways to explain the past tense, so she'll just leave it open for him to fill in the blank.]

[youwill]

A less than willing participant in this particular experiment. [And a fascinating experiment it would make, wouldn't it?]

[breakingmyheart]

I'm sorry.

[She is, even though he's as good as a stranger. It's long been her opinion that if she could change one thing on the Barge, for good, it would be to let people just disappear if they want to.]

[youwill]

As am I. [But he gives her a curious look, one that more asks why she's sorry.]

Do you anticipate graduating, Toshiko?

[breakingmyheart]

[She'd like to. But honestly?]

I don't know.

[youwill]

I suppose if it was easy, no one would be here very long.

[breakingmyheart]

No.

[A brief silence stretches out.]

Do you -- know? Why you're here?

[youwill]

I can make my guesses. [He modulates his tone, lets his voice lower and the result is something that might be guilt or shame.

Neither of which he actually feels, but it's a good imitation.]

[breakingmyheart]

[She nods slowly.]

...You'll probably be assigned sooner rather than later. There's almost always more Wardens than Inmates on board.