2.18 - Voice + Spam

[breakingmyheart]

[Private to Jesse]

I'm awake.

[Library filter & Gaheris]

I've been in a coma since the…tenth, I think. I'll be back at work today.

[Private to Derek]

I was in a coma. It's - just something that happens on the Barge, sometimes. Are you alright?

[Open Spam - Level 8, evening]

[Toshiko left the Infirmary pretty much the second her legs could support her weight, without waiting to report to a member of staff or get checked over (though Merlin noticed her going anyway and just made a note of it without passing comment). She knows she's fine; Derek's gift brought with it a new awareness of her own body and if she was there for any reason other than a Barge coma she's confident she'd know about it.

There's paint spatter in the hallways. She's not incurious about it but she doesn't really want to stick her head over the parapet and ask what happened - and a few minutes with her communicator answers the question anyway.

There's also paint on her door. Not deliberate, as far as she can tell, just glancing blows. Still, she finds a container in her room and fills it with hot water and lathered hand soap, and the evening finds her kneeling at the half-open door, working off the paint with a wet cloth.]

Comments

[megamind]

[ Megamind is tired. He rarely wears it on himself openly, but between injury, Edward, Chris, and a lot of long hours in the lab and working production, and then picking up Pitch... well, he's not exactly had a lot of time to breath. ]

[ He still finds times to walk the dogs, though. Today he didn't ask for Claire or Riddick to come help; he managed their evening walk and got them some exercise on the deck. Now? He's coming downstairs and... stops when he sees Toshiko in the hall, before he slowly approaches. ]

Hey. You're up again. How're you feeling after your nap?

[breakingmyheart]

Fine. I'm fine. Just clearing up this mess.

[She puts the cloth down and rocks back on her heels to look up at him - though she spares a brief glance to the dogs. She still looks human, of course, but there's something in her blood now that's much higher than them on a much older pecking order. They're uncomfortable, and she's not sure if she's just seeing it in their body language or if there's something else.]

Are you alright? You look exhausted.

[megamind]

Yeah, uh, we went a little crazy with painball. I might've, uh. Armed brainbots. [ and let a few carry buckets of paint. ] It was a fun flood, as they go.

[ The dogs aren't sure what to do; Digby's old as fuck and functionally immortal, and Angus is still a puppy; he flattens out, staying behind the other two. Megamind just pats Digby, unaware of the shift just yet. ]

I'm-- okay. Just...long hours. Got an inmate, training to do, work to do, things to make, Chris's damage to attempt to control, and regular chess-games with Edward when I can squeeze an hour to myself that isn't spent sleeping.

[breakingmyheart]

[ She nods her understanding. ]

Of course. Everyone's busy with... bracing for this, whatever it's going to be.

[ Except Tosh herself, but that's death wishes for you. ]

You more than most people.

[megamind]

[ He smiles a little; concerned, but it's not his place. Jesse's made it clear what he thinks of Megamind's input or help; he's done what he can. ]

I have more than most people have to give! I mean, all this fantasticness, it'd be criminal not to share with the masses.

[breakingmyheart]

[There's something a little strained about the quality of Tosh's answering smile. Obviously she could be helping with preparations in some capacity (in any capacity) but nobody's asked. Her genius - her own 'more than most people' - is just lying idle and the part of her that wants to help is dying by degrees.

Not that she expected anything else.]

You're right.

[megamind]

[ You don't get close to someone and not notice things like this; well, Megamind can -- but he's been learning, little by little, to be better than that. To notice these things. Other people's hurts. ]

You-- doing anything to get ready? For what's coming, whatever it is?

[breakingmyheart]

I have my training. Jesse's going to make sure I'm armed. Beyond that I don't think there's a lot I can do, this late on.

[And even though there's something new making itself known inside her - the pack instinct, the innate desire to stay alive for the sake of the whole she's now part of - it might never overpower the voice that says it'd just be easier for everyone involved if she went out to port and never came back.]

[megamind]

If there's anything else you need, just-- ask, okay.

[ Because he knows how well she asks for help, he can't help but offer. ]

[breakingmyheart]

You've already got me measured up for armour. [She shakes her head.] There's nothing else.

[Nothing else she can ask of him. Of anyone, really.]

[megamind]

If you're sure. [ He's not, but it's not like he's one to strong arm into -- anything. That's someone else's gig. ]

[ The dogs fuss a bit, and he pats Digby, before he speaks again. ]

I should get them back to the cabin. Lemme know if you figure anything out you could use before we leave.

[breakingmyheart]

[Honestly, she's pretty sure that they're all going to get turfed out in their sleep and they'll be lucky if they get to take anything other than the clothes they're wearing at the time.]

I will. Thank you.

[I love you, I miss you, I'm sorry - what's the point?]

[megamind]

[ He's afraid of the same thing; that all of this work will be for nothing and that he'll be sitting somewhere in his pajamas going "why, why, why". All this work and stress, for nothing. ]

...yeah. No problem.

Stay safe.

[ He gives a little snap of his fingers, getting the dogs moving again; they give her a wide berth, and he heads toward the door of his own cabin. Before long, there's the usual thrum on the eighth floor that means Megamind has his stereo on and all is normal. ]

[Private]

[truth_is_cold]

So we were informed.

I usually make a policy of checking on people that don't show up to the shift because of the high prevalence of kidnappings and murders. [He wishes he didn't have to say that so casually.] So if you don't and your warden doesn't say anything, unless I'm also detained I am probably going to check on you.

[Private]

[breakingmyheart]

Yes, of course. I just thought you should know before I show up for work.

[Private]

[truth_is_cold]

I understand. I was just letting you know in case it's ever a matter of concern.

[Private]

[breakingmyheart]

...

Thank you.

[Private]

[truth_is_cold]

I will do everything in my power to keep something bad from happening to you as long as you're one of mine. [Nietzscheans are strange. Ignore him.]

...On a side subject, would you mind if I asked your opinion on a personal matter?

[Private]

[breakingmyheart]

...no, not at all.

What's on your mind?

[Private]

[truth_is_cold]

[He actually feels a little bad asking her about this, but he hasn't talked to anyone about it, and it's been lingering on his mind.]

If you finally had the chance to be with someone you wanted for some time, but also knew what they wanted most in their future didn't involve you... Would you leave them? Even if you knew you cared very deeply [to the point of idiotic mistakes] for each other?

[Private]

[breakingmyheart]

[She doesn't even pause for thought.]

Yes.

[Private]

[truth_is_cold]

It's harder than I thought it would be. The people that left me always made it look easy.

[If it weren't depressing he would almost laugh at that.]

[Private]

[breakingmyheart]

...they do.

I wish I could help, but...I don't really know what it's like to be the one to walk away.

[Private]

[truth_is_cold]

No, anything is helpful. I don't really know what it's like either.

[Private]

[yeahscience]

Welcome back. [He's both relieved and disappointed, and maybe both show. He's glad she's back, really, but he's having pretty much the worst week ever, and if she could have just held on until after the storm passed, maybe until after Death Port or whatever... He smiles grimly, tiredly.] You didn't miss too much. We had a paintball tournament. I got my dog back. Also, like, epically dumped, so if I'm a cranky bitch you can just deal with it.

[He gives a pause, not for her to comment but for him to try to pull himself together into something wardenly, and adds:] I talked to Derek and Mozenrath. And a couple of the other werewolves.

[Private]

[breakingmyheart]

[There's a pause of her own.]

And?

[Private]

[yeahscience]

And, pretty much the only way to undo anything is to murder someone, plus even that d-bag of a warden thinks I oughta let you have a chance with it, so fine. No changing, and you could seriously do better than Derek, but you can keep the... inner strength mumbo-jumbo.

[Private]

[breakingmyheart]

[There's an urge to defend Derek and she honestly doesn't know if it's the pack bond talking, or just the fact that he was nice to her, but either way she bites it back.]

Thank you.

[Private]

[yeahscience]

You know what the deal's gonna be, though, right?

[Private]

[breakingmyheart]

Don't be an asshole?

[Sounds weird with her accent, but never mind.]

[Private]

[yeahscience]

Uh-huh. Someone gets hurt and that's it, yo, game over.

[Private]

[breakingmyheart]

Understood.

Private

[smilederek]

I'm all right. I worried about you.

[For like a day, before he fell into his own coma.]

Private

[breakingmyheart]

There was no need, really. I'm fine.

I talked to Jesse. He's spoken to the Admiral, I think, to ask him to take away my ability to...change.

Private

[smilederek]

Do you want to be able to change?

Private

[breakingmyheart]

No. Not really.

I wouldn't want to risk losing control and hurting someone.

[Again.]

Private

[smilederek]

All right.

[He almost says that they can start working on it after she graduates, then comes slamming face-first into the possibility that she's eventually going to graduate, and immediately changes his mind about talking about it.]

Control comes from practice, though. From knowing your emotions, and being able to anchor them. Even if there's no danger of you changing now, we should still work on that.

Private

[breakingmyheart]

Yes. I - I was hoping you'd say that.

Sometimes things happen, anyway, the Admiral's not always reliable.

Library

[strangehistorian]

Welcome back.

Library

[breakingmyheart]

Thank you, Chromie.