2.17 - Text + Voice

[breakingmyheart]

[Warden Filter; text]

Jesse's fallen into a coma.

We're both in his cabin. Level 7, room 6.

I'll stay with him until someone brings a stretcher from the Infirmary.

[Private to Derek; voice]

[This comes a bit later.]

Hi.

Ah -

I've been thinking. About - what we talked about.

Comments

Private

[smilederek]

Hi.

[Awkward moment, yo.]

Have you made a decision?

Private

[breakingmyheart]

Yes.

I -

[Am probably insane and overreacting to a particularly kick-in-the-teeth flood, but.]

I don't actually know if it'll work properly here, but I - yes. I want to do this.

Private

[smilederek]

If it doesn't, you have permission to bite me back.

[A joke? Rare and glorious thing!]

Are you ready now?

Private

[breakingmyheart]

As I'll ever be.

[Given that this constitutes a stroll over even Tosh's incredibly generous weirdness threshold.]

...Yes. I'm ready.

Private

[smilederek]

I'll come to you?

Private

[breakingmyheart]

Alright.

Erm - Level 8, Room 2. The door's unlocked.

Spam

[smilederek]

He doesn't answer. Or knock. Just opens the unlocked door and enters as quietly as possible.

Because that's not creepy...

Spam

[breakingmyheart]

[IT IS A LITTLE, DEREK. But there are really no stealth options available because her cabin is tiny and depressing right now. Concrete floor, white tiled walls, a couple of completely bare workstations and a sofa and that's about it.

Tosh is sitting on said sofa when he comes in but she stands up almost immediately. It doesn't really occur to her to complain about the not knocking.]

....hi.

Spam

[smilederek]

[Derek steps around the door carefully, and pushes it shut behind him with a soft click.]

Hi.

[He doesn't come closer immediately, just stands, studying her for a moment. He considers asking what made her mind up for her, but decides against it. They can discuss it later.]

You're ready?

Spam

[breakingmyheart]

[Once upon a time there would have been a very firm 'no' until she'd gotten an answer to at least some of the countless questions whirling around her head, but the larger part of her just - doesn't want to know. Doesn't want to learn anything that might put her off.]

I'm ready.

[She sucks in a quick breath. Okay, one question.]

What's going to happen? Will I black out, or...?

Spam

[smilederek]

It depends. On the person, on the circumstances. Most people lose their first night, while their body's changing.

[Derek sinks down in front of her, and there's a slight cracking, muscle and bone shifting beneath the surface.]

I'll stay with you, and in the morning, you'll have a bite-mark. It won't last the day.

Spam

[breakingmyheart]

[The part of her that likes making informed decisions is apparently also the part of her that would be alarmed by being warned in advance that a near-stranger is planning to spend a night with her that she's going to 'lose'. Because she just nods.]

Okay.

...thank you. For staying.

[Seriously Tosh this isn't healthy.]

Spam

[smilederek]

[Even to Derek's malformed understanding of what is and isn't normal, this is... going a lot more smoothly than he expected. Perhaps she has been hypnotized by his abs.]

It's fine. [He tells her, then holds out his hand to Tosh, waiting for her to take it.]

Spam

[breakingmyheart]

[She nods again and even manages a brief, nervous twitch of a smile, then reaches out to put her hand in his.]

Spam

[smilederek]

[There's a shift, another click of bone on bone, and suddenly his face has contorted itself. Plumes of thick fur roll down his cheek, and his teeth are long and sharp, too big for his jaws.

He waits a moment, to see if Toshiko'll pull away, then leans forward, pulling her hand towards him to bare her upper arm. There's more meat there than on most of her body. No major arteries, and deep enough tissue to make it one of the safer places to give someone the bite. He puts his free hand on her other shoulder, and smoothly sinks his teeth into her.]

Spam

[breakingmyheart]

[It hurts. It really hurts.

Her breaths are forced in and out between clenched teeth, and already she feels a little lightheaded but maybe that's just the enormity of what it is she's doing - risking? - here. At long last, and far too late, the part of her that wants to know things has asserted itself: what if she just dies? What if that's what he's actually intending to do? What if the Barge has stripped his ability to make others like him, and she's just going to end up with a bite mark on her arm for her trouble? What if, what if -

Her spare hand seals over his on her shoulder and latches on tightly. She's not trying to peel him off or push him away, she just needs to anchor onto something, and he feels like the most real thing in the room right now.]

Spam

[smilederek]

[Derek digs deep, until he tastes meat and blood, before he unlatches from Toshiko's arm, and slowly withdraws. He doesn't let go of her, in case she falls backwards. Instead, holds onto her even as he withdraws.]

It's okay. You're going to be okay.

[He never had the bite, but being injured (and no matter what will happen to her tomorrow, this is an injury today) still hurts like a bitch, and there's no getting away from that.]

Spam

[breakingmyheart]

[She nods, gulping down breath now she doesn't feel the need to grit her teeth. She's not hyperventilating, she doesn't think, but it doesn't feel like there's quite enough air in the room.]

I know. I know. [She produces a noise that's sort of laughter.] Being shot was much worse than this.

Spam

[smilederek]

[Derek makes a sound, a soft exhale that's almost laughter but not quite.]

At your true strength, bullet wounds would heal in seconds now. Your body would repair itself almost instantly.

[He touches the bite, ginger and cautious. Not wanting to hurt her more.]

You'll see it with this. Being here has weakened it a little, but I still feel it.

Spam

[breakingmyheart]

[Toshiko draws in a breath suddenly at the contact - more shock than pain. She's starting to go a little lightheaded but she can't pinpoint an exact reason, she just feels...strange, everywhere.]

What's going to happen to me...? I mean...there's no moon here.

[And there's no way to delicately ask under what circumstances she's likely to turn into a wolf person. Or a wolf. She really should have gotten clarity on these issues before the bite.]

Spam

[smilederek]

You can still change without it, but without the moon it'll be easier for you to keep control over yourself.

[Derek keeps his voice low and reassuring, they probably should have talked about this before he gave her the bite, but Derek's not great at talking. This makes it easier.]

When you're angry, when you're afraid, when your adrenaline runs high? That's when you'll change, until you learn to control it. The full moon makes the wolf stronger. It agitates your instincts and your hungers, until it can be hard to think. Without it, everything should come easier for you.

Spam

[breakingmyheart]

[She chews on her bottom lip for a few seconds. Toshiko's felt angry and afraid for weeks, even if it's just been on a low boil; she hasn't so much as raised her voice since the first time she talked to Jesse. Her adrenaline hasn't got a look-in for a long time, though.]

And you can teach me that? To control it?

Spam

[smilederek]

Yes.

[But he won't yet, because she's not got the first flushes of the change yet, and he doesn't want to overload her yet.]

Spam

[breakingmyheart]

Good. I don't...

[Yeah, her legs are going out from under her now, and she sits down heavily on the sofa.]

I don't want to hurt anyone else.

Spam

[smilederek]

You won't.

[Derek sinks with her, down to his knees beside the couch, staying close.]

I won't let you. We'll be there for each other from now on, all right?

Spam

[breakingmyheart]

Yes.

[There for each other. It's an immediate sense of connectedness, and she hasn't felt it for so long - not love or desire but the sense of being genuinely relied on, of being a part of something, of mattering.

Her eyelids are fluttering and every time they close it takes a little more effort to reopen them. She feels simultaneously energised and drained, like the combined exhaustion and adrenaline after a sudden sprint.]

We will.

[It becomes more than she can do to keep her eyes open, and already the paranoia that should accompany being vulnerable to a virtual stranger is being swallowed up by something else, an instinct that Derek isn't a stranger any more.

Everything blurs and then goes dark.]