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breakingmyheartUser Name/Nick: Naomi
User LJ:asyndeta
AIM/IM: Metonumia
E-mail: asyndeta@gmail.com
Other Characters: Shego, Iroh, Merlin, Sara Pezzini, Poison Ivy
Character Name: Toshiko Sato
Series: Torchwood
Age: Physically 27ish, chronologically 29ish.
From When?: Originally taken from just after her death during the Series 2 finale, she will reappear post-Barge after a brief return home, so technically her canon point is almost immediately before the Children Of Earth miniseries.
Inmate/Warden: Warden. Although undeniably damaged by her time on the Barge, Toshiko retains a strong belief in acting for the greater good and protecting others, even at great personal risk; the rehabilitation of inmates on the Barge fits right into that.
Item: Her laptop
Abilities/Powers: Tosh is a technical genius - capable of understanding, improving and applying alien technology - and an extremely accomplished hacker. She is also the team's linguist, capable of translating alien languages even without a precedent to work from. As a trained Torchwood agent she is also a better-than-average marksman and presumably knows the fundamentals of unarmed self-defence. Additionally, she knows enough about medicine and medical procedure to not only bluff her way through an alien autopsy but come to a reasonably nuanced conclusion based on her findings; it's feasible that she was filling the medic niche before the team acquired an actual doctor in Owen Harper and taught herself the basics of what was necessary.
Due to in-game developments, she has a cerebral port installed in her neck that allows her to essentially plug her brain into any given operating system and control it intuitively, though it doesn't bypass firewalls and the like. It's a vulnerability as well as a strength - it's essentially an exposed nerve, as well as presenting a potential danger in that her mind could be invaded and overloaded with data.
Personality:
Toshiko - 'Tosh'- is the quiet, reserved, and rather socially awkward genius of the Torchwood 3 team. Capable of keeping a cool demeanour in all but the most trying situations, her behaviour tends to be more professional and less emotional than her colleagues'; she can get extremely irritable when those around her don't take the job as seriously as she does, to the extent of seeming obsessive. Although sometimes apparently aloof and detached, she is generally friendly towards newcomers to Torchwood such as Gwen Cooper, with whom she eventually forged a close friendship. Although she tends to keep it to herself she can get emotionally involved in her job, especially when observing the parallels between behaviour in humans and aliens.
Her single most important motivation is her will to protect people. This was how working for Torchwood was initially sold to her by Jack Harkness; since he found her in a prison cell and expecting to die there, it's possible that this pitch gave her life some meaning and in so doing engendered a huge amount of loyalty to Jack. Ever since then it's been her driving force; by her own admission it's what makes her job 'worth it', despite the often torturous day-to-day life of a Torchwood agent. So long as it was in the public interest, there were few extremes she wouldn't go to, ultimately including her own death; when faced with the choice between protecting the city from a nuclear meltdown and treating her own potentially lethal gunshot wound, she chose the former without hesitation. This has been, and will continue to be, the force that drives her on board the Barge.
She does have a more wicked side. Despite her relatively low appetite for adrenaline, she shares in the thrill her teammates experience in times of danger; likewise, she seems to get a kick out of doing work for Torchwood that would be otherwise illegal, such as hacking into government databases. Tosh is fully aware of her own genius, although her level of modesty on the subject depends on who she's talking to; nonetheless she seems to pin a lot of her self-esteem on recognition by her teammates for the work she does. She often feels underappreciated or even unnoticed by her teammates and by the world in general. Her conflict resolution skills aren't great, either; she tends to resort to passive aggression rather than dealing with problems head-on.
Her love life is a bit of a disaster. Tosh tends to attract, or be attracted to people who are no good for her - among them an alien who manipulated her to access Torchwood technology, and a soldier from 1918 who she was only able to see for one day a year. Her love for colleague Owen Harper, who responded to her flirtation and concern with borderline abuse until the very end, was ultimately unreciprocated. At one point he described her as 'twisted and broken' due to her difficulty in forming relationships and her strange preoccupations, and indeed it is telling that she was all the more drawn to him when he was rendered effectively undead, sexually impotent and - in Owen's words - 'safe'.
Her emotional issues made her easy to manipulate; the abovementioned alien wormed her way into Tosh's affections very easily by isolating her from the rest of her team and making Tosh reliant on her approval. Another - Adam, who thrived by inserting himself into others' memories - played on her fears that nobody recognised or respected how special she was. Even after acknowledging he wasn't really a part of their lives, and knowing the damage he was doing to their memories, she pleaded with Jack not to make her let go of the 'love' they shared.
Barge continuity update: Over the time she spent on the Barge, Toshiko didn't come out of her shell much socially - keeping a small circle of friends and dedicating herself to her work as a Warden and technical research. However, her experiences and the hostility of the Barge's environment made her toughen up a little; although she could still be vulnerable to manipulation in some cases she's wasn't as easily hurt as she used to be. She also found herself taking on a role as a coordinator during some emergencies, and speaking up a little louder than she was used to when Barge-wide decisions had to be made (particularly with regard to how vampires were being dealt with and provided for - as Aleera's warden she felt she had to stand up for her rights).
Her second turn on the Barge was a little more circumspect. After an initial unsuccessful attempt to make some changes to the status quo, she mostly settled down into a more Inmate-centred role, though retained a strong line on helping coordinate during stressful periods. Otherwise, she spent a lot of time being slowly worn down, her previous resilience being chipped away; her outer shell of 'I'm-just-fine-thank-you' got considerably tougher while everything underneath it grew more fragile. She suffered from the side effects of breaking into the Barge's power source for some time, and was later responsible for the invasion of Adam (mentioned above). It was an accident, caused by an attempt to protect the Barge from the affects of the floods, however she blamed herself unreservedly.
Things kept happening. Seamus Harper, with whom she'd become extremely close, left the Barge. While unaffected by the second mirror flood, she killed an affected Luke Cage to prevent him fighting to the death with Tim Drake, who she knew wouldn't have been able to deal with being made a murderer by the Barge. She was murdered by CLU in revenge for 'ruining' her then inmate Rinzler. Not equipped with an overabundance of coping strategies to begin with, her existence on the Barge became an exercise in bearing up under the strain; she steadily became more detached, refusing to deal with her emotions while isolating herself from anyone who might have been able to help her. Finally, when she was abruptly unpaired from new inmate Lua Klein, she chose to leave the Barge.
Her powerful belief in helping others at all cost has been shaken, though not dislodged, by the coming and going of Jack Harkness from the Barge - one iteration didn't acknowledge her presence at all. She's come to believe that rather than recognising her genius, granting her an opportunity and becoming a friend and mentor, he was cynically manipulating her need for recognition and using her as a tool to help Torchwood function. While she still believes she was doing the right thing throughout her Torchwood career, it's left her with doubts about a cause to which she was once deeply devoted. She's also became somewhat dependent on time spent accessing a Grid she wrote using some of Rinzler's programming and holographic technology she'd acquired from previous crewmates, using her cerebral port to completely submerge herself in a virtual environment - sometimes at the expense of things like 'food' and 'sleep'.
She's still more than capable of being a Warden, she's just....kinda fragile.
History: Toshiko was born in Osaka and spent her early childhood there, later moving to London with her parents; both of her parents worked for the RAF, and her family already had strong links in England, her grandfather having worked in Bletchley Park during WW2. After graduating from university she was headhunted by the Ministry of Defence, ending up employed by the Lodmoor Research Facility. While there, her mother was kidnapped by an unidentified group who then forced Toshiko to steal the plans for a sonic modulator (presumed to be a reverse-engineered version of the Doctor's sonic screwdriver) from her employers. She successfully built it, despite several inherent flaws in the plans, but shortly after handing it over was captured and imprisoned by UNIT - a government organisation dealing in alien intelligence. She was held in harsh conditions for some months until Jack Harkness, recognising her genius, found her at the holding facility and offered her a job with Torchwood.
The following five years were eventful to say the least. Working alongside a leaking rift in space and time, Toshiko's job was to analyse technology that fell through the Rift and assess its possible applications on Earth. Translating alien communications and documents was another of her responsibilities. She also became responsible for doctoring official records to cover up deaths caused by Rift events - a job to which she became fairly indifferent, understanding the consequences of widespread knowledge of these deaths. She briefly acquired an alien pendant that allowed her to 'hear' other people's thoughts; the experience of so much negativity appalled her, but she recovered and continued working to protect the people around her.
Much later Toshiko was shot by Gray, Jack's brother, while she was attempting to help Owen prevent a nuclear meltdown at a nearby power station. He was sealed inside by an unanticipated power surge and Tosh died shortly afterwards, blaming herself for his death. It is at this point that she was snapped up by the Barge's Powers That Be.
Barge continuity update: Initially, Toshiko was on the Barge for almost a year. She spent nine months of that as a Warden to Aleera, who graduated, then was briefly Warden to the Master up until his escape a few weeks later - everything relevant about her development in that time should be covered in the personality update. After the Master escaped while under her supervision, she used her favour from the Admiral to request that he be returned to the Gallifreyan time lock he'd appeared from - preventing him from being a threat to the rest of the universe. (She didn't need to, since successful escapees are returned to their canon point anyway, but the Admiral was a dick and declined to tell her that.)
After a brief disappearance she returned and was initially assigned to Thomas Wayne Jr. aka Owlman, who disappeared two months later. She was then assigned to Rinzler, who graduated under her tutelage after six months; the big events in the intervening time are covered in her Personality update. She was unpaired from fourth inmate Lua Klein after three weeks, and finally used her outstanding deal with the Admiral to claim back her own life.
She remained in the Cardiff area for about a month, but didn't return to Torchwood due to uncertainties about her place there, as detailed in her personality update. A variety of factors - not least lingering guilt over Owen's death, and a sense that she still had debt to repay, and maybe the need to earn the right to travel beyond her own world and time - would lead her back onto the Barge. In Torchwood continuity this would be a few days before the inciting incidents of 'Children Of Earth'.
Sample Journal Entry:
[Voice. Toshiko is using the formal, almost stiltedly professional tone she always uses for public posts nowadays because she's almost afraid to let herself express anything more. Evincing vulnerability on the Barge feels like bleeding into a shark tank.]
I understand I've - lost - five months since I was last here. I'm aware I've spent some time giving the impression that I'm a new arrival on the ship, however, the amnesia has resolved itself now. I've actually spent two years here, albeit non-consecutively. I'd like to thank everyone who welcomed me and gave me advice and information, and I apologise for asking the same questions I'm sure you've all fielded a thousand times before. [And even with amnesia she didn't need to ask - she did her own research and only asked questions as a means of ingratiating herself by making other people feel helpful.]
For those who haven't introduced themselves to me or vice versa, my name is Toshiko Sato, and I originate from Earth - specifically Cardiff, Wales of mid-2009. I have recently reclaimed my post in the engine room; if anyone has an Inmate interested in taking a post there, please contact myself or Trip Tucker.
[A long pause. There's a lot of people she'd like to ask about but eventually the words just don't come.]
Thank you.
Sample RP:
Another day, another Inmate - or at least that was how it seemed this time around. Her previous tenure hadn't been so bad - graduated two, lost two, statistically she could have had it much worse - but this time she was on her third in the same number of months and it felt for all the world like the Admiral was punishing her for something. Not that that was completely unlikely, or even completely unjustifiable on his part. In her opinion.
She had chosen the dining hall for their first meeting. Inmate #2 had a history of violence and a tendency to unexpected outbursts so she'd picked her cabin; a controlled environment, no scope for collateral damage, and she'd had contingencies in place to put out a warning if she'd ended up dead. The newcomer - no violence in her past, but she was paranoid and caught up in the belief that the Barge was a complex hallucination - needed space, not to feel trapped or enclosed.
She stirred a spoonful of sugar into her coffee. Even after her memories of the Barge had reasserted themselves, it hadn't taken much for the place to stop feeling like home. Martha, Snape, Aleera, Una, Harper, Rinzler - so many of her closest friends and most trusted colleagues were gone now, and there was so many strangers on board. The idea of attempting to ingratiate herself with the new influx of Wardens, even if only in the interests of keeping things running smoothly, already left her feeling exhausted. For all the misgivings she'd developed about Torchwood, at least her coworkers had been consistent.
The door on the other side of the room opened and she watched her Inmate walk in, observed the way her gaze darted around the room. Toshiko took both a literal and figurative deep breath and rose to her feet, thoughtful scowl shifting into a professional half-smile.
"Good to meet you in person. I'm Toshiko, we spoke on the network." She offered a hand.
User LJ:
asyndetaAIM/IM: Metonumia
E-mail: asyndeta@gmail.com
Other Characters: Shego, Iroh, Merlin, Sara Pezzini, Poison Ivy
Character Name: Toshiko Sato
Series: Torchwood
Age: Physically 27ish, chronologically 29ish.
From When?: Originally taken from just after her death during the Series 2 finale, she will reappear post-Barge after a brief return home, so technically her canon point is almost immediately before the Children Of Earth miniseries.
Inmate/Warden: Warden. Although undeniably damaged by her time on the Barge, Toshiko retains a strong belief in acting for the greater good and protecting others, even at great personal risk; the rehabilitation of inmates on the Barge fits right into that.
Item: Her laptop
Abilities/Powers: Tosh is a technical genius - capable of understanding, improving and applying alien technology - and an extremely accomplished hacker. She is also the team's linguist, capable of translating alien languages even without a precedent to work from. As a trained Torchwood agent she is also a better-than-average marksman and presumably knows the fundamentals of unarmed self-defence. Additionally, she knows enough about medicine and medical procedure to not only bluff her way through an alien autopsy but come to a reasonably nuanced conclusion based on her findings; it's feasible that she was filling the medic niche before the team acquired an actual doctor in Owen Harper and taught herself the basics of what was necessary.
Due to in-game developments, she has a cerebral port installed in her neck that allows her to essentially plug her brain into any given operating system and control it intuitively, though it doesn't bypass firewalls and the like. It's a vulnerability as well as a strength - it's essentially an exposed nerve, as well as presenting a potential danger in that her mind could be invaded and overloaded with data.
Personality:
Toshiko - 'Tosh'- is the quiet, reserved, and rather socially awkward genius of the Torchwood 3 team. Capable of keeping a cool demeanour in all but the most trying situations, her behaviour tends to be more professional and less emotional than her colleagues'; she can get extremely irritable when those around her don't take the job as seriously as she does, to the extent of seeming obsessive. Although sometimes apparently aloof and detached, she is generally friendly towards newcomers to Torchwood such as Gwen Cooper, with whom she eventually forged a close friendship. Although she tends to keep it to herself she can get emotionally involved in her job, especially when observing the parallels between behaviour in humans and aliens.
Her single most important motivation is her will to protect people. This was how working for Torchwood was initially sold to her by Jack Harkness; since he found her in a prison cell and expecting to die there, it's possible that this pitch gave her life some meaning and in so doing engendered a huge amount of loyalty to Jack. Ever since then it's been her driving force; by her own admission it's what makes her job 'worth it', despite the often torturous day-to-day life of a Torchwood agent. So long as it was in the public interest, there were few extremes she wouldn't go to, ultimately including her own death; when faced with the choice between protecting the city from a nuclear meltdown and treating her own potentially lethal gunshot wound, she chose the former without hesitation. This has been, and will continue to be, the force that drives her on board the Barge.
She does have a more wicked side. Despite her relatively low appetite for adrenaline, she shares in the thrill her teammates experience in times of danger; likewise, she seems to get a kick out of doing work for Torchwood that would be otherwise illegal, such as hacking into government databases. Tosh is fully aware of her own genius, although her level of modesty on the subject depends on who she's talking to; nonetheless she seems to pin a lot of her self-esteem on recognition by her teammates for the work she does. She often feels underappreciated or even unnoticed by her teammates and by the world in general. Her conflict resolution skills aren't great, either; she tends to resort to passive aggression rather than dealing with problems head-on.
Her love life is a bit of a disaster. Tosh tends to attract, or be attracted to people who are no good for her - among them an alien who manipulated her to access Torchwood technology, and a soldier from 1918 who she was only able to see for one day a year. Her love for colleague Owen Harper, who responded to her flirtation and concern with borderline abuse until the very end, was ultimately unreciprocated. At one point he described her as 'twisted and broken' due to her difficulty in forming relationships and her strange preoccupations, and indeed it is telling that she was all the more drawn to him when he was rendered effectively undead, sexually impotent and - in Owen's words - 'safe'.
Her emotional issues made her easy to manipulate; the abovementioned alien wormed her way into Tosh's affections very easily by isolating her from the rest of her team and making Tosh reliant on her approval. Another - Adam, who thrived by inserting himself into others' memories - played on her fears that nobody recognised or respected how special she was. Even after acknowledging he wasn't really a part of their lives, and knowing the damage he was doing to their memories, she pleaded with Jack not to make her let go of the 'love' they shared.
Barge continuity update: Over the time she spent on the Barge, Toshiko didn't come out of her shell much socially - keeping a small circle of friends and dedicating herself to her work as a Warden and technical research. However, her experiences and the hostility of the Barge's environment made her toughen up a little; although she could still be vulnerable to manipulation in some cases she's wasn't as easily hurt as she used to be. She also found herself taking on a role as a coordinator during some emergencies, and speaking up a little louder than she was used to when Barge-wide decisions had to be made (particularly with regard to how vampires were being dealt with and provided for - as Aleera's warden she felt she had to stand up for her rights).
Her second turn on the Barge was a little more circumspect. After an initial unsuccessful attempt to make some changes to the status quo, she mostly settled down into a more Inmate-centred role, though retained a strong line on helping coordinate during stressful periods. Otherwise, she spent a lot of time being slowly worn down, her previous resilience being chipped away; her outer shell of 'I'm-just-fine-thank-you' got considerably tougher while everything underneath it grew more fragile. She suffered from the side effects of breaking into the Barge's power source for some time, and was later responsible for the invasion of Adam (mentioned above). It was an accident, caused by an attempt to protect the Barge from the affects of the floods, however she blamed herself unreservedly.
Things kept happening. Seamus Harper, with whom she'd become extremely close, left the Barge. While unaffected by the second mirror flood, she killed an affected Luke Cage to prevent him fighting to the death with Tim Drake, who she knew wouldn't have been able to deal with being made a murderer by the Barge. She was murdered by CLU in revenge for 'ruining' her then inmate Rinzler. Not equipped with an overabundance of coping strategies to begin with, her existence on the Barge became an exercise in bearing up under the strain; she steadily became more detached, refusing to deal with her emotions while isolating herself from anyone who might have been able to help her. Finally, when she was abruptly unpaired from new inmate Lua Klein, she chose to leave the Barge.
Her powerful belief in helping others at all cost has been shaken, though not dislodged, by the coming and going of Jack Harkness from the Barge - one iteration didn't acknowledge her presence at all. She's come to believe that rather than recognising her genius, granting her an opportunity and becoming a friend and mentor, he was cynically manipulating her need for recognition and using her as a tool to help Torchwood function. While she still believes she was doing the right thing throughout her Torchwood career, it's left her with doubts about a cause to which she was once deeply devoted. She's also became somewhat dependent on time spent accessing a Grid she wrote using some of Rinzler's programming and holographic technology she'd acquired from previous crewmates, using her cerebral port to completely submerge herself in a virtual environment - sometimes at the expense of things like 'food' and 'sleep'.
She's still more than capable of being a Warden, she's just....kinda fragile.
History: Toshiko was born in Osaka and spent her early childhood there, later moving to London with her parents; both of her parents worked for the RAF, and her family already had strong links in England, her grandfather having worked in Bletchley Park during WW2. After graduating from university she was headhunted by the Ministry of Defence, ending up employed by the Lodmoor Research Facility. While there, her mother was kidnapped by an unidentified group who then forced Toshiko to steal the plans for a sonic modulator (presumed to be a reverse-engineered version of the Doctor's sonic screwdriver) from her employers. She successfully built it, despite several inherent flaws in the plans, but shortly after handing it over was captured and imprisoned by UNIT - a government organisation dealing in alien intelligence. She was held in harsh conditions for some months until Jack Harkness, recognising her genius, found her at the holding facility and offered her a job with Torchwood.
The following five years were eventful to say the least. Working alongside a leaking rift in space and time, Toshiko's job was to analyse technology that fell through the Rift and assess its possible applications on Earth. Translating alien communications and documents was another of her responsibilities. She also became responsible for doctoring official records to cover up deaths caused by Rift events - a job to which she became fairly indifferent, understanding the consequences of widespread knowledge of these deaths. She briefly acquired an alien pendant that allowed her to 'hear' other people's thoughts; the experience of so much negativity appalled her, but she recovered and continued working to protect the people around her.
Much later Toshiko was shot by Gray, Jack's brother, while she was attempting to help Owen prevent a nuclear meltdown at a nearby power station. He was sealed inside by an unanticipated power surge and Tosh died shortly afterwards, blaming herself for his death. It is at this point that she was snapped up by the Barge's Powers That Be.
Barge continuity update: Initially, Toshiko was on the Barge for almost a year. She spent nine months of that as a Warden to Aleera, who graduated, then was briefly Warden to the Master up until his escape a few weeks later - everything relevant about her development in that time should be covered in the personality update. After the Master escaped while under her supervision, she used her favour from the Admiral to request that he be returned to the Gallifreyan time lock he'd appeared from - preventing him from being a threat to the rest of the universe. (She didn't need to, since successful escapees are returned to their canon point anyway, but the Admiral was a dick and declined to tell her that.)
After a brief disappearance she returned and was initially assigned to Thomas Wayne Jr. aka Owlman, who disappeared two months later. She was then assigned to Rinzler, who graduated under her tutelage after six months; the big events in the intervening time are covered in her Personality update. She was unpaired from fourth inmate Lua Klein after three weeks, and finally used her outstanding deal with the Admiral to claim back her own life.
She remained in the Cardiff area for about a month, but didn't return to Torchwood due to uncertainties about her place there, as detailed in her personality update. A variety of factors - not least lingering guilt over Owen's death, and a sense that she still had debt to repay, and maybe the need to earn the right to travel beyond her own world and time - would lead her back onto the Barge. In Torchwood continuity this would be a few days before the inciting incidents of 'Children Of Earth'.
Sample Journal Entry:
[Voice. Toshiko is using the formal, almost stiltedly professional tone she always uses for public posts nowadays because she's almost afraid to let herself express anything more. Evincing vulnerability on the Barge feels like bleeding into a shark tank.]
I understand I've - lost - five months since I was last here. I'm aware I've spent some time giving the impression that I'm a new arrival on the ship, however, the amnesia has resolved itself now. I've actually spent two years here, albeit non-consecutively. I'd like to thank everyone who welcomed me and gave me advice and information, and I apologise for asking the same questions I'm sure you've all fielded a thousand times before. [And even with amnesia she didn't need to ask - she did her own research and only asked questions as a means of ingratiating herself by making other people feel helpful.]
For those who haven't introduced themselves to me or vice versa, my name is Toshiko Sato, and I originate from Earth - specifically Cardiff, Wales of mid-2009. I have recently reclaimed my post in the engine room; if anyone has an Inmate interested in taking a post there, please contact myself or Trip Tucker.
[A long pause. There's a lot of people she'd like to ask about but eventually the words just don't come.]
Thank you.
Sample RP:
Another day, another Inmate - or at least that was how it seemed this time around. Her previous tenure hadn't been so bad - graduated two, lost two, statistically she could have had it much worse - but this time she was on her third in the same number of months and it felt for all the world like the Admiral was punishing her for something. Not that that was completely unlikely, or even completely unjustifiable on his part. In her opinion.
She had chosen the dining hall for their first meeting. Inmate #2 had a history of violence and a tendency to unexpected outbursts so she'd picked her cabin; a controlled environment, no scope for collateral damage, and she'd had contingencies in place to put out a warning if she'd ended up dead. The newcomer - no violence in her past, but she was paranoid and caught up in the belief that the Barge was a complex hallucination - needed space, not to feel trapped or enclosed.
She stirred a spoonful of sugar into her coffee. Even after her memories of the Barge had reasserted themselves, it hadn't taken much for the place to stop feeling like home. Martha, Snape, Aleera, Una, Harper, Rinzler - so many of her closest friends and most trusted colleagues were gone now, and there was so many strangers on board. The idea of attempting to ingratiate herself with the new influx of Wardens, even if only in the interests of keeping things running smoothly, already left her feeling exhausted. For all the misgivings she'd developed about Torchwood, at least her coworkers had been consistent.
The door on the other side of the room opened and she watched her Inmate walk in, observed the way her gaze darted around the room. Toshiko took both a literal and figurative deep breath and rose to her feet, thoughtful scowl shifting into a professional half-smile.
"Good to meet you in person. I'm Toshiko, we spoke on the network." She offered a hand.
UPDATES
Date: 2013-05-02 09:41 pm (UTC)Following the Reboot plot, Toshiko has been demoted essentially because her self-destructive tendencies have gotten to the point where they're being externalised. She's a giant mess.
A few notes about the Reboot: Tosh wasn't aware of her connection to the Barge until the endgame event started. Everything she did as the Admiral before then was done subconsciously, and some of the earlier announcements were the real Admiral covering for her, because he didn't know what was going on either and was trying to minimise panic. She didn't go out of her way to torture anyone; however, she didn't have enough control to prevent the worse case scenario playing out. The changes she made weren't exactly decided by her but were partly based on common complaints - for example, that Zero's not really a deterrent, and that it can sometimes take a while for perpetrators of violent crimes to be found and dealt with - while others came about because being directly plugged into the Barge was too much for a human mind to handle rationally.
Obviously none of this is an excuse. She knew people were being hurt and killed and couldn't/wouldn't stop it for three days. Only part of that was out of fear of making things worse. What she did was immeasurably selfish, thoughtless and demented. It came from a place of extreme frustration and despair rather than malice, but regardless of her motivations, she fucked up badly. And she knows it.
She hasn't hit rock bottom. She regrets what happened and she's not a sadistic monster who gets off on seeing people hurt. However, she did play to type because she wanted to be demoted, she wanted everyone to hate her as much as she hates herself, and she knows she did her job well enough that a lot of people will never believe she wasn't sitting in the engine room cackling with glee for seventy-two hours. She knows she isn't going to get, or deserve, anyone's sympathy - and may never be granted a real chance to make amends.
None of this is say her time and actions on the Barge are 100% responsible for her demotion. Her job at Torchwood was to reverse-engineer alien artifacts, cover up murders and commit a range of (mostly electronic) criminal acts for The Greater Good - she was pretty twisted at that point but Torchwood gave her a framework in which that was useful. A cynic might say that Jack Harkness hired people whose lives had been destroyed, explicitly because he knew he could ensure their loyalty by giving them something - anything - to cling to (Gwen being the exception because she all but recruited herself). This is Tosh's current belief. She is certain that Jack never cared about her as a person and hired her knowing that she had no real choice (her other option being to remain in UNIT detention indefinitely). She really kind of hates him, and resents the circumstances of her death, and STILL blames herself for failing to save [colleague and unrequited love interest] Owen Harper.
Furthermore, she's started to believe that the core belief Jack instilled in her - that almost any amount of personal suffering (and a certain amount of collateral damage) is worth it to protect the majority - is also invalid. Nothing has really emerged yet to replace it, but the longer it goes the more toxic it's likely to get. On some levels she actually envies her mirrorverse counterpart, an outright sociopath who felt nothing and didn't care who got hurt in the course of her research. Tosh sees that level of emotional invulnerability as both frightening and admirable.
She was abusing morphine for four months, starting in November and ending in mid-February. She's clean now, but that's something she's always going to be carrying around with her. The temptation to distance herself from her emotional issues, in whatever way she can, will always be there. Her Warden should keep in mind that while her addiction has made things worse, it is a symptom of her other problems, not the other way around.
What she needs to graduate is to build her almost nonexistent self-image, and find a solid sense of purpose and a healthy way to channel or communicate her frustrations. An ideal Warden is someone who will understand what she's done and be able to see why she did it without having to be convinced of it - while remaining aware that it was wrong. There should be an expectation that she will lie and claim more responsibility than she actually has for the things she's done or have happened around her; she wants to be hated and she needs a Warden who won't. Disapproval is expected but anger, bullying and 'pull yourself together'-ing will be insanely counterproductive. Unless things go direly downhill, she won't be violent or even particularly uncooperative towards her Warden - although at the moment she has a death wish and consequently the self-preservation instinct of a cartoon lemming, and will make no serious attempts to defend herself against anyone or anything. Which could probably also stand to be addressed.
Abilities/Powers:
The Admiral has reduced the scope of Toshiko's cerebral port to the point where it had no greater purpose than replacing manual input - i.e. she can't do anything more with it than she could do with a keyboard and mouse. There was a decision made to remove and destroy a necessary component, and it is currently completely defunct.
At the end of April, Toshiko was bitten by werewolf Derek Hale (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
smilederek) and at the time of writing is a Teen Wolf-style beta. This means her senses have been enhanced to the superhuman; her strength and agility have both been greatly increased, though not beyond human capacity for someone of her size. She now heals wounds much faster than a human, though nowhere near fast enough for the ability to be particularly useful in a single fight.ETA: The above was undone by the Admiral approx. two weeks later, after Derek disappeared from the Barge.