2.5.5 - Spam

[breakingmyheart]

[Spam for Megamind]

[Barge engine maintenance is reasonably straightforward when you know how, though the 'knowing how' can take months; like any regular task, after a while it becomes...not boring, but...routine. Clean parts, check valves, tighten screws, check readings, et cetera. It's a big job and has a lot of fiddly little tasks associated with it, but it doesn't change.

Sometimes Toshiko genuinely wonders if the engine serves any actual purpose besides giving a few more people something to do with their time, but the only way to test that would be by breaking it and seeing what happens and....no. No thank you. True, Kirk used it to take over the ship but for all she knows that could just be the Admiral propping up the illusion.

(And honestly, Kirk's brief benign dictatorship makes her feel better. Generally, the Admiral closes a path to the bridge after it's been used once. The engine room has now been officially neutralised as a way to hijack the ship.)

She looks over at Megamind from where she's sitting at the bank of monitoring screens, keeping half an eye on him and half an eye on the readings.]

How are you finding it?

[Open Spam]

[It's evening, and Tosh is sitting on a bench on the deck. Somewhere over her head there's a remote-controlled flying device (you can't really call it a model anything) moving in slow figures-of-eight around the length of the bench.

She's not holding a remote. Exactly. There's a cable plugged into the port in her neck, which is connected to a small transmitter device which was resting on her shoulder but has since slipped into her cleavage; never mind. Interfaced with the program that signals the little flying drone, it's not taking much more than a continuous awareness of its presence to keep it in a holding pattern.

She moved out here when Myfanwy started getting anxious (read: screechy) about another flying pet in her cabin.

Every so often she moves to do something else, picking up the cup of coffee next to her or turning a page in the book she's not-quite-reading, and it lurches or dips but that's fine. Practice makes perfect.]

[OOC: Because occasionally I step outside myself and remember that Tosh doesn't get out much: some time ago she had a dataport installed that allows her to interface with computer systems intuitively. And she keeps fiddling with it and probably won't stop until she's a Cyberman. And Myfanwy is a pteranodon. So that's where we are now.]

Comments

[megamind]

[ If there is a way to overcome the admiral's 'closed' sign on the engine room as a way to take power, Megamind will find it. Megamind will find it, exploit it, and TAKE OVER THE SHIP! Cue evil laugh, with a good muwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!! ]

[ Ahem. ]

[ Megamind is busy. Megamind took to manuals and drawings and is already putting together that maybe Tosh didn't give him everything and that's fine, it just means the engine room just became his personal puzzle box to tweak, poke, rummage in and otherwise explore. Right now, he is going through the motions of doing the routine labors, because he can, because it's good to have tools in his hand, because he's got his hands in technology he doesn't recognize.

It's dirty work; he goes in bare handed because the Black Mamba gauntlets aren't suited to the work. This leaves his bare hands -- impeccably trimmed nails, long spidery fingers -- working on cleaving valves, exploring nooks and crannies, and otherwise getting almost intimate with this new thing to explore. He's as careful as a lover would be -- he wants to make this engine sing for him. He wants the ship to love him back. He wants it to be his, so he doesn't have to play that stupid 'warden' game. ]

Mmm?

Oh, I'm fine, fine. This is nothing. I mean, it's totally unique and I know you're hiding the good stuff, but... This is enough for now.

[ She'll find him elbow deep in some system or another later on, it's a given. For now, he 'behaves.' ]

[breakingmyheart]

[Tosh watches him work for a few moments and all the while she's aware of something like jealousy, like she's watching someone (extremely expertly) groping her boyfriend and putting their hands in places only she's allowed to go. Like it's showing things to him that only she's allowed to see.

If she isolates herself from these thoughts for even a second it'll occur to her that maybe she needs to get laid and/or spend more time talking to people and less time interfacing with computer systems, but she doesn't. Instead, she tells herself that she's been working with this engine ever since she partially rebuilt it and it's only fair to feel possessive of something you've put so much time and energy into.]

Nothing stays hidden on the Barge that long. What 'good stuff' are you hoping for?

[megamind]

[ Megamind's eyes -- unnaturally green, so bright and vaguely luminscent in his particular cranny of the engine room -- peer down at her. ]

If I told you, you'll hide it, or ruin it, and then it'll be twice the work to get to it.

I know you're scamming me, though.

[ He unfolds from his perch, dropping down back to the floors, before he frowns at his hands; greasy and dirty. Well. It is a ...space barge, he supposes. Into every machine, grease must go. ]

Like a rag. Can you unhide the rags? Man, I hate lubricant on my fingers. Itches.

[breakingmyheart]

[She pauses for a moment because her brain decides to process that out of context before she remembers where she is.]

They're not hidden, they're just - never mind.

[She reaches over for a clean-ish cloth and holds it out to him.]

We do have insulating gloves. I could ask the Admiral for some that would....fit you.

[megamind]

Don't make any in long-fingered-alien, huh?

[ He knows. He knows he's different and freakish and accommodations have to be made and humans can't stand doing that for their own kind, let alone people like him. ]

[ He takes the cloth all the same and cleans up his hands, careful to scrub at his nails to get them clean. When that's done, he just throws it over his shoulder -- he'll be back in the guts of the ship in no time. ]

With no Minion here, my clothing options are-- limited, I suppose.

[ Point in case: laundry's pretty awkward when you have one super suit to your name and refuse to engage in anything else. He manages by not leaving the room much -- any thus not needing to be dressed a lot of the time, but it sure is something of a constraint. ]

[ Guess who is unwilling to ask for more, though? ]

[breakingmyheart]

Sorry. That was - insensitive. The Admiral generally makes them in the sizes he's asked to make them.

[She makes a couple of notes from the monitor screens.]

'Minion'? [She doesn't hear the proper noun.] You only had one?

[megamind]

If a minion is very good, you only need one. I had brainbots to fill any manpower gap, but Minion was-- well, he was singular.

[ Gone now. Walked out. Left him. ]

[ Megamind reaches out, taking up his gloves and looks at them. His tech, Minion's artistry and design. A beautiful marriage of skill and vision. It makes the guilt sour his stomach all the more intensely. ]

If I asked for clothes, he'll give me what I want instead of whatever he thinks is -- appropriate for a person of my station, then?

[ A prison. Not that he isn't remarkably comfortable in his orange jumpsuit, but-- still. Nobody else is wearing them, why should he? ]

[breakingmyheart]

I don't think the Admiral has a sense of 'appropriate'.

[She presses her lips together for a moment, actually considering the question.]

It does depend on how you ask. If you're specific, say 'please' and don't get sarcastic? I can't foresee a problem.

[megamind]

Do I just say, "Can I please have my wardrobe back?" to the middle of the air? Or what?

[ Seriously how does this even work. ]

I'm not used to talking to imaginary omnipotent beings. I mean, that gets you into trouble. Or office. Depends on how rich, white and human you are.

[breakingmyheart]

[Tosh's lips twitch in what might've become a laugh if she was talking to someone she knew a little better.]

You can filter a private message to him over the network. And - you should know, if you ask for a wardrobe you will literally get a wardrobe.

[megamind]

So I should recite a specific and itemized list so there's no confusion because apparently he's a literalist? [ Great. Just great. ]

Save me from the imbeciles I must work with.

[breakingmyheart]

Yes, well, what can I tell you. [A minute shrug.] Welcome to the Barge.

[It's so lightly said that for a second you might miss the fact that she's calling a nonspecific number of her colleagues imbeciles.]

[megamind]

[ He snorts, vaguely amused. Yes, she can call them imbeciles, he doesn't care; he's not swift enough socially to catch it, either. Probably for the best. ]

What's next then. Do I get a schedule? Do you expect me to be a good cog in our Barge machine? They didn't let me work at the prison at home. Too dangerous. I got access to tools and objects and next thing you know, a robot made entirely of rubber bands and utensils was staging a breakout.

[ ...he's not kidding either. ]

[breakingmyheart]

I'll let you know when the engine room is staffed, although I'm flexible about working hours. Once you've got the maintenance process figured out it's all reasonably routine.

[Again, this may not be a fully accurate representation because her real hours in here add up to 'too goddamn many Tosh, get a life'.]

Beyond that...I expect that eventually you'll get something past my scanner, or you'll sneak up on me and hit me over the back of the head. You'll use your obvious expertise and engine access to attempt to take over the Barge, or destroy it, or...whatever you feel like doing that particular day. Either it'll work, or it won't. The crew or the Admiral will have the situation tidied up within a week. You'll spend a few days in Zero which I can't see as a deterrent for you, and then you and Agent Kay will have a conversation about your next choice of workplace.

[She gestures to the wall on her right-hand side.]

When all this happens, all I'd like to ask is that you don't cut through that wall. For your own safety.

[megamind]

Hitting people over the back of the head is gauche. [ He said that in utmost seriousness. ] I'll totally gas you or otherwise incapacitate you in a nonviolent manner. I'm a villain, not a cad.

[ He sniffs, just a little disdainful; she thought him so crude, then? Fine. But he nods, listening,y es, yes yes, whatever. ]

I see you've had to deal with this before. I suggest you tell me what's beyond the wall, as opposed to leaving it to my insatiable curiosity, at which point I will cut through the wall simply because you told me not to and I'll want to know what I'm not supposed to be poking with a stick.

[ She's a scientist, she'll understand, right? ]

[breakingmyheart]

[....Kinda. Though in Tosh'a opinion this seems to have less to do with science and more to do with being a contrary little arse for the sake of it.]

I'm asking you not to. [She takes off her glasses and rubs at the bridge of her nose.] But when you do it anyway, you'll come into a dark corridor that ends with a bright light, and it'll instantaneously burn you to death. The Death Toll will last two or three weeks longer than it should and will include insomnia or nightmares or both on alternating nights, nausea, nosebleeds and audiovisual hallucinations.

[megamind]

[ Megamind has already death tolled. ]

[ Megamind hated it. He finds he remembers Bernard's moment of ceasing very vividly and dying at himself? Not something he's looking to embrace. Not even for potential control of the barge. ]

Duly noted.

I won't touch the wall.

[ And that was a rare moment of total sincerity. ]

[breakingmyheart]

Thank you.

[She's quiet for a moment.]

Do you mind my asking what you expect from your time here?

[megamind]

To not be bored. To be compensated for whatever it is I do. I owe this place nothing, and refuse to engage it on it's terms. This is not my prison.

[ He ponders a moment looking at his nails for anymore grease, feigning indifference before he glances up at her. ]

What do you expect from me?

[breakingmyheart]

Me? I don't know yet.

[She picks up another, cleaner cloth and starts wiping her lenses.]

I meant in the long term. One, two years from now. What do you plan to be doing by then?

[megamind]

If you think I will be here in a year, you've got, in the vernacular [ var-nuh-cu-leer is not how you say that, Megamind. ] the crazy.

I'm not going to be here. I better be home. Even if it means I'm dead. I would rather embrace my dramatic death at the hands of my own creation than play toward this 'graduation' nonsense.

If I am still here, I will probably be aiming at taking over the ship if just out of sheer ennui.

[breakingmyheart]

Naturally.

[Well, that's what they all say. But he's only been here for - what, a month? She can't expect great things.]

What did you create?

[megamind]

What didn't I create? I specialized in robotics at home, but if it had an engine that needed to move, I had a hand in it somewhere. Designed software as needed, worked a little in power and energy since I have a-- unique situation there. Branched into bio-engineering and made myself my own killer, apparently, but-- you win some, you lose some, I guess.

[ He shrugs once, passing it all off as flippancy; he can talk about his work until the cows come home and never bat an eye about the morality of it, or his 'success'. ]

Lasers, weaponry, of course: tools of the trade are important.

[breakingmyheart]

[...Well, she can't fault him for for being comprehensive, but...]

I meant the creation you're planning on being dramatically killed by.

[megamind]

Oh. Titan.

He was supposed to be the city's new hero. Went evil. Good was too hard, I guess.

He'd been really enthused about the whole thing when he was intially endowed with his powers, but-- well, uh. Apparently... he had ulterior motives. I mean, who knew?

[ Other than Roxanne. Or Minion. You know. Smart people. ]