2.21 - Voice + Spam

[breakingmyheart]

[Library & Kitchen Filters]

I've been unpaired from Jesse. I still plan on keeping both my jobs. If that's alright.

[Even though she kind of hates both of them, it's marginally better than having nothing to do all day.]

[Private to Megamind]

...I can help. With the project you were talking about.

[Open Spam - Deck]

[So it's been a fortnight. The breach was - well - things happened. She's been through her most grotesquely violent death toll to date. And then she got off the Barge in LA and stole from a cashpoint for the express purpose of buying drugs, which - didn't happen, in the end.

Small mercies. She might not have been feeling any worse for having succeeded but deep down she knows the better would be very, very fleeting.

And then the Admiral separated her from Jesse. Or Jesse asked to be unpaired. She doesn't know. He said he didn't, she'd like to believe him, but she wouldn't really blame him for spotting a lost cause either. Megamind called her a model Inmate not so long ago but it doesn't feel like she was modelling anything except peaceful noncompliance.

She doesn't often break the library -> kitchen -> (gym) -> shower -> sleep cycle but she needs some time and fresh air to decompress and so after the dinner shift she's out on deck, sitting on a bench and somewhat reading a book but not really paying attention to it.]

Comments

[breakingmyheart]

[She startles a little, closing the book she was barely reading anyway.]

Oh - no, not really. I was just -

[Going to go. Around almost everyone on the ship, she's just going to take the quickest escape route when it presents itself. But then something occurs to her.]

Did you come to talk to me about Anya?

[tolaywaste]

I - what?

[For a moment he's legitimately baffled, then concerned. Is Anya sick? What's she talking about?]

Not Anya, no. She's not - Why? What happened to Anya?

[breakingmyheart]

Nothing - ! Nothing's happened. She just came to talk to me a little while ago, that's all.

[...not about Anya, then.]

[tolaywaste]

Oh.

[He starts to go through the possibilities of what Anya might have wanted from Tosh, what she would have wanted to learn or share, and quickly realizes there's no point theorizing. Anya's too complex to theorize about. For him, specifically.]

[Instead, there's just a brief, bright, affectionate smile, and a shake of his head.]

Sorry. I don't know why I thought she might have done something stupid, that's more or less the opposite of what she does.

[breakingmyheart]

[Toshiko smiles very fleetingly.]

Did you want to talk about something?

[tolaywaste]

Nothing specific, no.

[He glances at her, frowning slightly - in concern or annoyance, it's hard to say.]

You want me to go?

[breakingmyheart]

No. No, not at all. I don't mind.

[It's just very easy to assume that most people want that of her.]

Do you want me to?

[tolaywaste]

No. No way. I just thought - maybe you'd want company.

[She seems to be alone so often. He glances down, puts his hands in his pockets.]

But you were here first, I mean. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything.

[breakingmyheart]

I'm not. I'm not, I just...

[She shrugs and smiles helplessly.]

You know. I'm not really anyone's first choice, socially.

[tolaywaste]

[It's like they're tiptoeing around the biggest, stupidest elephant in the room. It's awful and Alex hates it, so he just gives up. Subtlety's for other people.]

Honestly, no, you're not my first choice, but you're not my last, either. Pretty far from it. The takeover didn't really change that, if that's what you're thinking. Which, I don't know, maybe that's stupid, but that's how it is.

I should've said hi sooner, I mean, we never really talked before, but things keep - happening.

[breakingmyheart]

That's the Barge for you. Things happening. But that's just life, I suppose.

[She really doesn't know what to make of what he's said. Anya offered her forgiveness, Alex is offering - ongoing disregard with an element of curiosity?

It may or may not be better than nothing.]

[tolaywaste]

Yeah, it's just life, which means it's not an excuse.

I'm worried about you.

[Which is exactly what he'd said to Zane. It's a blunt and graceless statement, which doesn't bother him; what does is that that's not the only similarity between them. They're both hiding.]

[He looks her square in the eye now, trying to gauge whether or not she's angry that he said that. It's presumptuous to worry about someone you don't really know. He's aware, and doesn't care.]

[breakingmyheart]

[Not angry. Just bewildered.]

Why?

[tolaywaste]

Because you're important to a friend of mine, and because I'm pretty sure most people aren't, and because that's just kind of what I do.

[breakingmyheart]

[Nope, still bewildered.]

Who?

[It's not like she really knows who anyone is friends with. She doesn't stalk the network as a hobby any more. Hell, Anya was an educated guess.]

[tolaywaste]

Megamind.

[He wants to say that he was there, outside, when Megamind was talking her down, bringing her back. But she probably already knows, and it feels too intimate for him to bring up now.]

[breakingmyheart]

[Of course Megamind. Who else would it be?]

Megamind and I talk all the time. He knows what's going on.

[tolaywaste]

I know? Or, I assumed.

I'm not gathering information for him or anything like that.

[breakingmyheart]

I know. [She clears her throat.] I assumed. I just mean that there's nothing for you to be worried about.

[tolaywaste]

You sure?

[He's doubtful. Not disbelieving, exactly, just - if it were him, there'd be something to be worried about.]

[breakingmyheart]

[She nods.]

Absolutely.

[She's not going to vent her frustrations on the rest of the ship again. Beyond that, nobody's got any reason to worry, have they?]

[tolaywaste]

[There's maybe half a second when he considers leaving it at that and walking away, leaving her to herself. And then, no, that's off the table.]

If you say so. [He shrugs.] He's not the only person who gives a shit, though.

You ever play hockey?

[breakingmyheart]

[Well, that's a tangent.]

Just at school.

...Why?

[tolaywaste]

Because I kind of acted like I had and definitely haven't and probably am gonna regret that choice pretty soon. So I was wondering.

But I guess humiliation builds character. [He grins a little.]

[breakingmyheart]

[alex what are you talking about hockey what]

...Sorry, you've lost me.