[She's quiet for a moment, arranging her thoughts.] I got my life back and I went home for a few months. I just...
[She could have gone back to Torchwood. She knew she could. The Admiral wouldn't have even needed to smooth over the rough edges in the timeline; they would have accepted 'I was dead but I'm better now' more or less at face value.
But she couldn't go back and see the hollow empty space where Owen had been. She couldn't go back to Jack, whose trips on and off the Barge had destroyed her perception of him, of her relationship with him.
The Admiral hadn't so much shown her all the wonders of the universe as exposed her to them, like something to be torn down in a howling wind. But it wasn't enough any more to see it all through the tiny lens of the Rift and wonder at what was out there.]
...it didn't feel like there was a place for me there any more.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2012-10-06 02:50 pm (UTC)[She could have gone back to Torchwood. She knew she could. The Admiral wouldn't have even needed to smooth over the rough edges in the timeline; they would have accepted 'I was dead but I'm better now' more or less at face value.
But she couldn't go back and see the hollow empty space where Owen had been. She couldn't go back to Jack, whose trips on and off the Barge had destroyed her perception of him, of her relationship with him.
The Admiral hadn't so much shown her all the wonders of the universe as exposed her to them, like something to be torn down in a howling wind. But it wasn't enough any more to see it all through the tiny lens of the Rift and wonder at what was out there.]
...it didn't feel like there was a place for me there any more.